February 8, 1989
"Whats that smeel?"
October 13, 1988
"The following is a paid political insult."
October 7, 1988
"Okay so you can't be Robert Redford and you can't be Jack Kennedy"
April 21, 1988
"The next-time we engage a kingmaker, albert, we're asking for references"
March 11, 1988
"Bush, 88"
October 28, 1987
"Wow! The latest polls hows we're fooling 47% of the people 63% of the time!"
October 18, 1987
"We're trying senator, but so far we haven't found an inspirational passage that glorifies plagiarism"
January 18, 1987
"Governor's two-part program"
November 4, 1986
"Hostage vs. voter"
September 12, 1986
"Party loyalty doesn't matter"
May 7, 1986
"...Finalists in the pie eating event, and now eligible for the cow chip toss..."
February 3, 1986
"We've been after Henry Kissinger to run for Governor of New York..."
June 5, 1985
"It captures the spirit of the campaign , but it lacks subtletly"
May 20, 1984
"We have a great positive slogan "Let Reagan be Reagan!"
April 20, 1984
"Let's face it, Diogenes - I don't think there is such a thing as a candidate who believes in abiding by the sign laws"
April 16, 1984
"OYEZ! OYEZ! OYEZ! The supreme court of Texas is now in session - The biggest campaign contributions most likely presiding"
November 29, 1983
"Something that will bring out huge crowds and stir a lot of bipartisan interest"
September 13, 1983
"Some of us wish you wouldn’t run, Jesse- its not prejudice actually, some of our best friends are candidates"
August 24, 1983
"Hey hold it! Theres a more humane way to get his attention!"
October 13, 1982
"And now a word about what I perceive, from where I stand , to be a little bit of hypocrisy on the part of Jim Wright on this balanced budget business.."
October 4, 1982
"You have a schedule conflict do you want to go to a league of women voters debate and address issues? Or go with the more traditional campaign format and participate in a cow chip tossing contest?"
July 27, 1982
"Campaign promises"
September 21, 1981
"It's shaping up to be a real rock'em, sock em season"
September 4, 1981
"But Amy's Daddy's friends didn’t sell lemonade, Maureen"