October 19, 2008
"We'll get candy, apples, gum, and new mineral rights signing bonuses"
November 8, 2007
Get commissioners Jerry Patterson's soul for free!
February 7, 2006
"The trial of Ken Lay"
June 7, 2005
"What happens in Guantanamo stays in Guantanamo"
March 10, 2005
"Split-screen coverage of Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson"
March 21, 2002
"Confessional with the devil"
February 23, 2000
"Do you think it's a mistake to let Pat Robertson define us "
April 17, 1999
"If you were Madalyn Murray O'Hair"
January 31, 1999
"The freeze warning continues"
January 17, 1999
"Official Olympic flames"
December 4, 1998
"Free snowball with every campaign finance reform"
October 10, 1998
"Eternal impeachment"
July 21, 1998
"Sulphur & brimstone cooler"
July 26, 1997
"Smoking or non-smoking?"
December 11, 1996
"They're delivering in our neighborhood"
June 13, 1996
"Damaging information about the way the FBI handles requests for files"
March 29, 1995
"Genetic testing"
October 16, 1993
"Mukluk disposable igloos"
April 13, 1993
"Congress "
April 2, 1993
"I used to sell reform to congress. Believe me. This is easier."
February 28, 1993
"I think it's just alcohol and tobacco, but to be on the safe side, may be we should order something fat free."
May 11, 1991
"You're asking $23,300 for your soul? The official list price is still only $7,200."
January 4, 1990
"When I grow up I'm either going into newspaper work or politics."
May 21, 1988
"Besides his soul, he has hundreds of insolvent savings accounts and loan assoications for collateral"
