November 30, 1989
"Effective immediately, defense budget cuts are hell. War has been downgraded to heck"
September 6, 1989
"War on drugs"
January 10, 1989
"Very funny, we prefer to call it 'procurement."
July 10, 1988
"Chapel of the pentago procurement "
June 29, 1988
"All of these polls indicate that the vice president is in deep voodoo"
June 18, 1988
"Federal Bureau of Investigation"
January 6, 1987
"Domestic programs"
August 11, 1986
"Pentagon cooks for a crowd"
November 4, 1985
"Class, we have a very special guest for career day"
October 29, 1985
"Suck in that budget, soldier"
October 2, 1985
"This could play hob with inventory accuracy here at the Quadragon - did anybody get his license number?"
March 7, 1985
"Are Sandbags, air freshner and aspirin bona fide public relations expenses?"
November 14, 1984
"National archives"
October 15, 1984
"Apparently the pentagon can dictate what the first amendment covers"
July 25, 1984
"Pentagon conference room"
May 22, 1984
"The pentagon is prepared to help us other Arab nations with the Iran-Iraq mess"
January 31, 1984
"Senator Proxmire's on our case again - we won the golden fleece award for publishing these rules for playing the game 'King of the hill'"
November 1, 1983
"Could I interest you in a lock picking hairpin design $11,496 plus labor, shipping, and tax?"
July 26, 1983
"I've hit a marvelous new management technique call the local hardware store and ask how much these sucker ought to cost"
July 7, 1983
"I found a great route over around the pentagon they don’t care what they pay for anything"
January 10, 1983
"However I am happy to report we have cut down our use of paper clips"
July 19, 1982
"How was your vacation sir? You missed the wind up in the Falkands and the beginning in Lebanon, but youre just in time for Iran and Iraq"
February 1, 1982
"Chemical weapons, Public Opinion"
November 12, 1981
"Unemployment wise, he doesn't want to embarrass the president"