Watching TV
"You know what I hate? When Andy Rooney comes on and I can't find the remote control"
"There's some great stuff on T.V. if you're selective..."
"That's what you call in-depth reporting"
"You're lucky you didn't all doze off"
"How about counter-counter-ads-would they be free?"
Chickens watching TV
"TV violence"
"Class of 84"
"In an effort to divert attention to the economy today, the Federal Reserve Board lowered the interest rate to XXX adult only"
"Colin Powel said the 'M' word?"
"Which gives us a wind factor of 22 degress and a pothole factor of 15,000,000"
"Too many Monday morning quarterbacks"
"My weekend tv sports schedule"
"After the break, we'll announce the results of our poll on how many of you think the moon is made of green cheese"
"It's a painstaking process, but as thomas Jefferson said - 'Delay is preferable to error"
Television
Talk shows
"Atlantic alliance"
"I know we told them to work within the system but I never expected them to folllow our advice"
"Congress on c-span is fun! Watch this- I'm going to mute Newt Gingrich"
"Watergate hearings"
"We just enjoy seeing the real thing"
"You're just in time - they're about to tell us what we thought of the debate last week"